New Year, Same Old Plans?

Ah, New Year’s Eve—the night of sky-high expectations and, more often than not, ground-level reality. Let’s talk about how this annual circus manages to fool you every single year. You probably start off thinking, “This time, it’ll be magical!” But by the time you’re shivering in a poorly heated Uber, wearing heels that qualify as torture devices, you’re wondering how things spiraled. Spoiler alert: they always spiral.

Picture this: overpriced club tickets that promise “unlimited drinks” but deliver watered-down cocktails, a countdown that no one hears over the DJ’s bass, and you, dodging confetti while crammed in tighter than sardines. Doesn’t scream “fresh start,” does it?

Here’s the thing: New Year’s Eve is a scam. Big Party, Big Fireworks, and probably Big Pharma are conspiring to convince you that if you’re not clutching a glass of champagne while kissing someone at midnight, you’ve somehow failed at life. But let’s be real—midnight kisses are awkward, champagne is overpriced fizzy juice, and the only thing fireworks spark is air pollution.

The tragedy? We all buy into this nonsense. We plaster on smiles, put up Instagram stories, and pretend that dancing to “Despacito” for the 47th time is our idea of a good time. But deep down, we’re all wishing we were in pajamas, face-deep in pizza, and arguing over which Netflix show to binge.

Of course, there’s also the cringe ritual of New Year’s resolutions, which, let’s face it, are just promises you’re statistically guaranteed to break by January 3rd. Hit the gym? Sure, if by “gym” you mean “reaching for the chips on the top shelf.” Quit procrastinating? You’ll totally get to that…eventually.

But resolutions do serve one purpose—they give you false hope that next year will somehow be different. Newsflash: different doesn’t happen by forcing yourself to party in a room full of strangers while pretending you like techno music. Different happens when you start saying “no” to all that performative nonsense.

Now, here’s a wild idea: ditch the glitter and drama for something that actually feels like a celebration. Imagine spending NYE in a way that doesn’t involve overpriced taxis or fake smiles. What if you swapped blaring music for laughter with a small group of people you actually like? What if your midnight toast was tea in a cozy mug, paired with an actual heartfelt conversation instead of a tipsy ramble about “what this year means to me”?

Switching up your New Year’s plans isn’t just about avoiding the chaos. It’s about reclaiming the night. When you strip away the bells and whistles, New Year’s Eve should be about stepping into the next chapter of your life feeling recharged, not hungover. Whether that means a quiet night in, a road trip, or even a weirdly-themed gathering, the point is to choose what you want—not what society demands.

Before you roll your eyes and accuse me of being a party pooper, let me clarify: I’m not anti-celebration. I’m anti-boring, overpriced, stress-inducing celebration. Why should the start of a new year feel like a chore? Why not make it weird, wonderful, and entirely your own?

So go ahead—cancel those club tickets, shove the sequins back into the closet, and start planning a New Year’s Eve that actually makes sense. You won’t miss the crowds, the chaos, or the regret. And who knows? Maybe this time, you’ll wake up on January 1st feeling something truly revolutionary: peace.

(Oh, and if this all sounds good but you’re not sure how to pull it off, I might have a little idea for you… Check out the Vagabond Pyjama Party. Just saying.)

Elton Mendonce